Choosing a New Relationship Partner (2)

 It is OK to be embarrassed sometimes. Everyone has little vanities and vulnerabilities. Vulnerability is attractive. When you are dating, you may impress someone with your wit and charm and looks, but you become closer as a couple when your vulnerability and ineptitude accidentally and gently show through.

Don't fear the unexpected. How you cope when things don't go according to plan, often reveals your true colours. However glamorous your exterior, it is the inner, vulnerable, imperfect you who is capable of intimacy. A good sign of a successful relationship is not how much you love each other's best points, but how well you deal with each other's weaknesses and foolishness.

Don't hurry. The price of love is taking the risk of being hurt, as you have already found out. Before you get in too deep, decide whether you are willing to pay. You are ready for a relationship when you are willing to take that risk, not when you think you need a relationship because you feel lonely, sad or left out.

A good way to find out more about your man is when you meet his friends. Getting to know them will show or tell you several aspects about him. A long-term relationship is not just a love affair between two people; it is a meeting of two tribes. You don't all have to get on, but find a way to fit in or out of relationships with your partner's friends. If you don't get introduced to his friends, find out why. It is not a good omen for long-term stability to be kept apart from the rest of your man's life.

Find a guywho provides some opposition in a way that is good for you. You do not want a doormat, spending the rest of your life wiping your feet. You want someone to bring out the best in you, so choose someone who can stand up to you. Find out if they are strong enough to trust with your defence. A doormat is not a very good line of defence in the long term, and above all else, you will quickly get bored with this type of guy.

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