The Magic of Making Love Last (3)

Language carries energy, so if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Men and women communicate differently and risk misunderstanding each other. Men want to feel competent and solve problems and women want to share their emotions and be heard.

As a woman, avoid being vague or indirect, expecting your man to second-guess your needs. As a man, listen and ask your partner if she is venting frustration or wants you to suggest solutions to a problem. Avoid projection: all judgement is self-judgement. We dislike most in others what we least accept within ourselves. Whenever you feel a victim of your partner in any way, ask yourself what is really going on. You might have fears and hurts to release from the past, and need to remember that your partner is not your manager, mother, father or ex-lover. Share any memories and help each other heal, being clear about your values, needs and boundaries.

Don't divide roles at home for the sake of, if they don't not reflect your natural talents and preferences. You might enjoy shopping, creating family meals, doing school runs or organising your home, your partner might enjoy completing tasks and find it satisfying to do his own ironing, cleaning, or washing. He might use this time to simply see it as a change from work, and enjoy supporting you by helping with these tasks. It takes trial and error to find out what works best for you as a couple, but be open about what you enjoy and do not enjoy doing or are interested in.
 

When a relationship enjoys deep friendship as part of love's journey, spend the end of each day sharing experiences in relaxed conversation. Communicate genuine affection and appreciation toward your each other. Kiss, hug and touch, during this time.

Think of  hugs and kisses as a way to let go of any minor irritations that have built up during the day. Have a weekly date where you spend time to re-connect by updating each other and enjoying each others company.  Feel grateful for each other and your time together, yours is a creative partnership, that needs continual synergistic energy to feed your love and friendship for each other. This creative energy has a stronger and more enduring magic about it that any level of infatuation or obsession, so make the most of it!

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