The Magic of Making Love Last (2)

Set a little time aside to make up questions to ask your partner, asking about their emotional triumphs and aims, injuries and healings, dreams, goals and aspirations. Ask them what they are particularly proud of,  or how their parents showed their love for them. Find out if affection was readily expressed in their family. Ask them to describe the person they would most like to become, What they have faced in becoming that person, and what they would most like to change about themselves. Give them your own answers to these questions as well.

Getting to know and understand each other in this way is fun, not work. Ask each other about your fears, hopes, desires and your tastes in music, movies, your favourite food, flowers and colours. See if each of you can remember what you were wearing when you first met. Talk about what turns you on sexually. Talk about your favourite musical group, and your wildest dreams!

Positive feelings that have long been buried can be uncovered simply by thinking and talking about them. When you are alone, think about your partner and what you like about him or her. When you are together, choose characteristics that you like or admire in your partner. Think of incidents that illustrates these characteristics, then share your thoughts and feelings with each other about them.

Talk about how you first met, What made your partner stand out, your first impressions of each other, and what you remember most about that first date. Explore the moments and experiences that stood out as the happy times together. Check to see if you have stopped doing these things.

Sexual attraction often diminishes when couples settle into a routine and become similar in their sexual energies. We each have both the male and the female energies within us. The feminine receives, is free-flowing and intuitive. The masculine gives, and is directional and intellectual. If we want to enjoy fulfilling intimacy we need to regularly relax. As a woman coming home after a day of focused, intellect-based work, move your awareness from the head into your body by having a relaxing bath, meditating or listening to music.

Become a playful goddess who is happy for your man to be in charge, and receive his love. As a man, tell of your love for her, appreciate her feminine beauty with a respectful touch, and gentle cuddles and kisses. Remind yourself who you are talking to; we often communicate more respectfully with our neighbours or work colleagues than with our partner or family, as you can often take them for granted.

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